


Firsts with Friends

by LizardOnIce27



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-22 01:18:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2489111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizardOnIce27/pseuds/LizardOnIce27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick and Mikey have been close friends since middle school. They tell each other about everything, but when Patrick starts developing feelings for Mikey he doesn't know how to tell him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Kisses

The summer before we start high school, we’ve been basically inseparable. If Mikey’s not at my house, I’m at his. Right now his parents are away, visiting family for the week, so we’ve been staying here with his older brother Gerard. Gerard mostly stays in his bedroom, but did agree to watch horror films with us last night. Mikey’s a great friend. There’s probably nothing he doesn’t know about me, and nothing I don’t know about him. He’s the only person I’ve told that I’m gay, the only person I’m not afraid of knowing. He’s told me he’s not sure yet, but he does know he’s interested in guys. While Gerard stays in his ‘cave’, as his family calls it, Mikey and I play nintendo.

“My turn!” Mikey grins and snatches the remote after Mario dies.

I pout, “No need to be rude.”

He smiles, “Shut up, you love me.” he nudges his shoulder against mine.

I nudge back and watch him play, “So...am I completely lame for being nervous about High School?”

He leans closer to the screen, as if that will really help, “I dunno, I’m not too worried. Like, if nothing else, we’ll have each other.” he shrugs and hands me the controller after he dies, “Can’t be too bad.”

“Yeah but I’m so short I’ll get stepped on the first day and die.” I set the remote down and look to him.

He smiles, “Well then I’ll just carry you on my shoulders.” he wraps an arm around my shoulder, “It’s totally fine. I promise we’ll both survive.”

I shrug stubbornly and lean into him, “But don’t freshmen go through like, total hell?”

“Not really, Gerard says no one really does that. I asked. But we’re both…we’ll probably both have a little trouble, but it’ll be okay. I mean..being gay or...whatever I am, that’ll be a little rough, because people are jerks. Apparently sexuality and being a virgin are two main targets for bullying. But at our age most people who say they’ve had sex are lying.”

“They’ve probably had their first kiss though.” I shrug, “I don’t see why any of that even matters.”

Mikey cracks a little smile, “You haven’t had your first kiss have you?”

I blush, “Shut up.” I sit back up and start playing again.

“Hey, I’m not making fun of you. It’s kinda cute.”

I blush deeper, accidentally walking Mario off a cliff, “Mikey, shut up or I’ll punch you.” I shove the controller into his hands.

He sets it down, “It doesn’t matter. I mean, all it says about you is that you aren’t ready yet and there’s nothing wrong with that.” he shrugs, “People just suck.”

“Or it says that I’m too awkward and being in the closet kinda makes it get the stupid first kiss thing out of the way.” I cross my arms, “I’d love to just get it over with.”

Mikey glances to his bedroom door, before looking to me, “Do you trust me?”

I raise an eyebrow, “Yes?”

He nods before leaning in and pressing his lips against mine. My face heats up as I awkwardly kiss back. He pulls back and smiles, blushing a little himself.

“There we go, it’s out of the way for both of us.”

 

_Senior Year_

 

I groan and hit the snooze on my screaming alarm clock, only to hear my phone ringing. I roll my eyes before sitting up and answering.

“Morning Mikey.” I yawn.

He laughs softly, “Hurry up and get dressed, I’m about to leave the house.”

“Actually I think I have a fever today.”

“If I have to take the semester exams, so do you. Now get up or I’ll just jump on you when I get there.”

I groan, “Fine, I’m getting up.” I slam the phone down in the cradle, hanging it up before I get up. 

I quickly pull on clean clothes before going to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I brush them, I hear the front door open. Mom gave Mikey a key because, since she has to go to work early she can’t wake me up, and I’ve missed school a few times because I didn’t hear Mikey knocking.

He stands in the doorway, “Good morning Sleeping Beauty.”

I roll my eyes out at him, spitting out toothpaste and grabbing the mouthwash. He leans against the doorframe, arms crossed as I gargle the mouthwash, tapping his foot impatiently. I spit out the mouthwash.

“God you take _forever_.” he whines, “C’mon seriously I have to meet up with someone before school.”

I snort, pulling on my jacket, “You mean your _girlfriend_.” I say teasingly. 

He blushes lightly, “She’s not my girlfriend, and you might want to wear shoes.”

I look down at my feet, only covered in socks, “Good call.” I sit on the bed and pull on shoes, “So she’s not your girlfriend, she’s just a girl you make out with a lot.”

He shrugs, “Basically.”

I grab my backpack and we walk out to the car, I get in before looking over to him, “You know, she really does like you.”

He puts on his seat belt, “That would explain why she kisses back.”

I shake my head, “No, I mean, she likes you for more than the kissing. She thinks you two are dating. So if you don’t want that… you should tell her.”

He rolls his eyes, “We’re just physical, she knows that.” he starts to drive.

“No, Mikes… she doesn’t.”

“How would you know?” 

“I can just tell...so just, don’t hurt her.”

He groans, “I hate you. I thought your job was being Pete’s conscience now.”

“I’m multitasking,” I cross my arms, “Don’t lead her on.”

“Fine, I’ll stop sleeping with her.”

Both of our eyes widen.

“Forget I said that.” He says quickly.

“You’ve _slept_ with her?”

“I thought she was cool with the friends with benefits thing!” he stops at a light, “I didn’t realize she was actually interested in me.”

“You should probably...clarify things with her.” I shrug, “But considering I have no idea what I’m talking about I could be wrong.”

He pulls into the school parking lot and finds a spot, “You’re probably right… I’ll go talk to her now. Go talk Wentz out of something stupid.” he turns the car off.

I nod, “See you in English.” I get out and walk over to the bench that’s constantly shaded by a tree and roll my eyes, seeing Pete copying someone’s homework.

I hit his shoulder, “Homework has the word home in it for a reason.”

He grins, “Good morning sunshine.”

I look around and see Mrs. Ables looking over. I hit his shoulder again and hiss, “Put it away, I’ll help you later.”

He looks over and sees her before putting it away, handing Brendon his homework back, he turns to me, “Done abusing me yet?”

“Not likely.” I bite my lip, “I don’t want to take tests today.”

He stands up and wraps an arm around my shoulders, “You’ll be fine. And if nothing else, you won’t do as bad as I will.”

“Coming from you, not so comforting.”

“Where’s Mikey?” he asks.

“He had to get his homework back from this guy he let borrow it.” I lie easily. Just because Mikey tells me everything, doesn’t mean I should share.

My first two tests aren’t too hard, luckily. I walk to English and catch Mikey in the hallway. 

I grab his arm, “Hey, how’d it go?”

He smiles weakly, “Um… it could’ve gone worse?”

“You didn’t tell her, did you?”

“Shh..” he says as she walks by, “No, look I couldn’t but I will. In the meantime…Tell your mom you’re staying with me tonight.”

“I have a feeling you’re lying..”

“No, technically, you will be but… we’re also going to this party.” he hurries inside.

“Wait, no Mikey!” I hurry in after him, “No, I’m not-”

“Sit down Patrick.” Mrs. Ables snaps.

I sit in my assigned seat in the back, getting out my pencil. Mikey looks back and nods at me. I shake my head back.

 

I meet up with Pete as we walk to Mikey’s car to get rides home.

“It’s not a big deal, it’s just a party ‘Trick.” he shrugs.

“But I don’t want to go. I end up alone every time while you all go make out with someone, or more.” I shrug, “And then I have to wait around until Mikey’s done because I can’t really go to his house without him.”

Pete snorts, “Your little crush is killing me.”

“What?”

“You follow the guy around like a lost puppy, ‘Trick. As far as I can tell, you always have.” he shrugs.

“What? Who are you talking about?”

“Hey Mikey!” Pete says as we reach his car.

“Hey, how was the math test?” Mikey looks to me.

“I’m pretty sure I failed. No, I know I did.” I get in the passenger’s side.

Pete gets in the back, “So, who’s having the party?”

“Brad, down the road from my house. So, we can get you guys some clothes for overnight at your houses, hangout at mine until six.” Mikey shrugs.

“Oh, that’s really good except for the fact that I’m not going.” I look over to him.

“You’re going.” Pete says, kicking the back of my seat.

I reach back and smack his leg, “Does my input even count?”

Mikey drives to Pete’s house, “You know, you’re completely right. Your input should count. So let’s vote. If you think Patrick should go, raise your hand.”

“That’s not fair!”

“Actually, it’s basically the definition of fair.” Mikey grins and keeps driving.

“I hate you both.”

Pete gets out when we get to his house.

“So why didn’t you tell her?” I ask as soon as Pete opens his front door.

He sighs, “I started to, and I think she knew because then she started kissing me and when the bell rang she invited me to the party..”

“God, do you not have any self control? Just because someone kisses you doesn’t mean you have to kiss back, especially if you’re trying to break off your little fuckbuddy relationship.” I snap.

“I’m not trying to break it off.. I mean, if it comes to that then we will… but if she doesn’t want more, and she’s okay with this? Then I’d like to continue.”

“Fine, whatever.” I turn up his radio.

He turns it back down, “Why are you so mad at me?”

“I’m not fucking mad!” I unbuckle my seatbelt, “I can walk home from here, have fun using someone.” I get out and slam the door, storming off down the sidewalk.

“Patrick!”He runs after me, grabbing my arm, pulling me to face him, “Don’t be stupid, it’s freezing. If you don’t want to go… I’ll take you home, okay?”

I avoid his eyes, “Thanks.” I pull my arm away and walk back to his car.

Pete walks out, raising an eyebrow, “You guys alright?”

“We’re fine.” I get in the back and slam the door.

“Obviously…” Pete rolls his eyes, getting in the back with me, saying quickly, “I was talking about Mikey.”

Mikey opens his door and gets in as I snort, “That’s ridiculous.” 

“What is?” Mikey glances back.

“Pete’s under the impression that I…” the realization hits me like a brick through a window, “Oh fuck.”

“What?” Mikey looks to Pete.

“He left something in his locker.” Pete says, then looks to me, “But it’s okay, it’s not the end of the world. It happens.”

“Take me home Mikey.” I say in a small voice.

He frowns and drives to my house. As soon as he gets to the driveway, I get out and run to the door. I lock it behind me and throw my backpack across the room.

“Fuck.. fuck…” I bite my lip, “No, I don’t like him. Mikey’s just my friend, that’s it. He can kiss or fucking sleep with whoever he wants. I don’t care.” I clench my fists.

Mom pokes her head out of the kitchen, “It sounds like you do care, dear.”

My heart beats fast against my chest, “I-I…”

“I don’t care if you like boys, Patrick. It’s okay with me if you’re gay.” she says, trying to be comforting.

“I-I’m going to Mikey’s.” I run upstairs and pack clothes. I hurry downstairs and nearly run into her.

“We should talk about this, it’s really okay.” 

“I’m gay, there we talked.” I walk around her and go outside, running to Mikey’s house. When I get there, they’re already inside so I have to knock.

Gerard opens the door, “Hey, Mikey said you weren’t coming over.” He lets me in.

“I-I wasn’t going to…”

Mikey looks up from the couch and gets up, “Hey, look Patrick if you want we can stay here okay? I’m sorry for pressuring you.”

I shake my head, “I just came out to my mom...accidentally. So I could use a few drinks.”

Gerard rolls his eyes, “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that. No driving, and be careful. I can’t say don’t go because… I’d be a hypocrite, but be careful.”

 

 

About five drinks in, Mikey went upstairs with Amy, and Pete is making out with Brendon in a corner. But whatever, I came for the free alcohol. I get another beer and drink it leaning against a wall.

Pete walks over with his lips red and swollen, his hair sticking up in random places, and snatches the can from me, taking a drink, “Think you’ve had enough?”

I roll my eyes, “Fuck off.”

“No, c’mon it’s okay. Everyone falls for a close friend at some point. You just need a distraction.”

“Found one.” I snatch the beer back and quickly down it.

He rolls his eyes, “No, a human distraction.”

“You’re totally right. I should find someone that likes me and take advantage of their feelings so I have someone to fool around with.” I snap.

He rolls his eyes and grabs my arm, leading me into a bedroom, locking the door behind us, “Or, someone who just wants a distraction too.” He leans in and presses his lips against mine.

I shove him away, “Not everyone wants to make out with you, Pete.”

He grins, “Maybe not. But everyone wants to make out with someone.”

I bite my lip, “This isn’t a good idea.”

Pete’s grin widens, “You’ve never made out with someone before, have you?”

“Screw you.” I shove him again.

“That’s _adorable_.” he says with a smirk.

I shove him against the wall, raising my fist to punch him, intending to punch him. But instead I put both of my hands on his shoulders, pushing him harder against the wall before I kiss him hard. As the kiss deepens, I let go of his shoulders to slide my hands up into his hair. I bite his lip before licking over the bite, licking his tongue, licking inside his mouth. Our bodies are pressed so close I can feel his heart beating against my own chest. Our tongues go from one mouth to the other. We don’t stop until he presses his hips against mine. I gasp softly and move away from him, blushing. I sit on the bed and take in a few deep breaths. He watches and eventually sits beside me.

I move away, “We can definitely stop there.”

He nods, “So I take it back, you’ve definitely made out before.”

I look down, “Actually I haven’t, until now. And I’ve only ever been kissed once.”

“Is that once this time or before?”

“The summer before we started high school...Mikey kissed me because I wanted to get my first kiss over with.” I shrug.

“Aww…”

I groan, “Shut up. It’s not cute, it’s embarrassing to get a pity kiss. Especially when you like the person…” 

He shrugs and gets off the bed, “We should get out before someone needs the room.”

I quickly get off the bed, “Oh _ew_.”

He laughs and opens the door, hitting someone.

“Maybe don’t swing the door open, asshole.” Mikey snaps, rubbing his shoulder, he looks up and raises an eyebrow at the two of us in the doorway, “Wow, okay I didn’t expect that.”

I blush deeply, “We didn’t-”

“No, Patrick, if you and Pete are together that’s completely fine-”

“But we’re not.” I interrupt him.

“Okay, fuck buddies, whatever. Anyways, I’ve gotta go because telling Amy the truth pissed her off, so of course everyone else is pissed too. So, I’ll be at home.” he hurries through the crowd.

Pete and I hurry after him. He stops and waits for us to catch up.

“Mikey I’m sorry that my advice backfired...and we’re not fucking. It was one kiss.” I mumble.

“Excuse you, but it was one kiss and a makeout.” Pete corrects, “Which is totally my fault for being irresistible.”

“Like the plague.” I snap.

“You were much nicer when you couldn’t talk.” Pete grins.

“I swear I will push you in front of a car.” 

Mikey laughs, “You two would kill each other if you dated.”

Pete nudges Mikey, “You know, before tonight, ‘Trick hadn’t kissed anyone since you two kissed.”

I glare at Pete and lunge at him, getting caught by Mikey, “Let go!”

“Not until you seem less homicidal.” He looks to Pete, “Why are you trying to piss him off?”

Pete shrugs, “It’s a talent. Hey I think I’m gonna crash at Joe’s, see ya.” he starts walking the other way.

I sigh, “Let go.”

Mikey lets go, but holds my arm, “You told him?”

I look down, “I’m sorry. I just, he was pestering me and being annoying about… he kept saying I’d never kissed anyone and I snapped.”

“I don’t mind, it’s fine. I just didn’t think you’d want to tell anyone.”

I avoid his eyes, “Can we go inside and just, sleep?”

He frowns and nods, “Sure.” he leads the way. 

Unlike usual, I don’t share the bed with him, I lay on the floor with a pillow and pretend to be asleep until it finally works.


	2. Three Words

I toss and turn all night, unable to sleep well on the cold, hard floor. Around five a.m. I have to rush to the bathroom to throw up. As the dry heaving starts, the bathroom door creaks open. I whimper in pain after gagging and glance up to see Mikey’s blurry face, before looking back down and heaving up stomach acid. He stands on his knees beside me and gently rubs my back.

“You really had a lot didn’t you?” he frowns.

I shrug a shoulder, “Why don’t you get hangovers?”

He smiles weakly, “Drink tons of water before you go to sleep. And take an aspirin. I still fell hungover though, just without the puking and headache. You okay now?”

I nod, “I think so.”

“Okay, rinse out your mouth and I’ll get you some water and aspirin, and maybe then you’ll be able to sleep.” He gently squeezes my shoulder before standing up and walking out of the room. I slowly stand up, flush the toilet and rinse my mouth out with his mouthwash. I turn off the bathroom light before sitting on his bed. The pain in my head pulsates, making the headache feel more intense with each throb. I groan and press my palm against my forehead, shutting my eyes closed tight, hoping the added pressure will at least ease the pain. The bed sinks in on my left side. I look over and see Mikey holding a glass of water between his knees as he opens the bottle of aspirin. He gets it open and takes out two white pills, handing them to me and closing the bottle.

“Once that kicks in you should feel better.” He says softly, handing me the glass of water.

I nod and take a tentative sip of the water, afraid that I’ll just throw it right back up. Swallowing hurts a little, but the cold water soothes my throat. I take the pills one at a time before thanking him quietly and setting the glass on the nightstand, taking my spot back on the floor.

“Get off the fucking floor.” His whisper sounds more like a hiss.

“I’m fine.” I bury my face into the pillow.

“Get on the bed now or I will pick you up and put you there myself.” He snaps.

I get up, bringing the pillow with me and lie on the side of the bed that’s next to the wall, “There, happy?” I turn to the wall, pulling the blanket up to my shoulders.

“Actually, no. Not really. What’s your fucking problem?” he grabs my shoulder and pulls me to lie on my back.

“I’m trying to sleep and this jerk with really boney fingers is bruising my shoulder?”

He fights a smile, but I can still see it trying to pull at his lips, “You know what I mean. Earlier you went off on me, decided to go home, but then came back, got drunk enough to make out with Pete, and then you just lay on the floor and ignore me, pretending to sleep. What the fuck, ‘Trick?”

“I was in a bad mood earlier, decided to get drunk because it’s not like I had anything better to do being there with a bunch of jerks who tease me, and you and Pete ditched me, like _always_ and it’s not like I had anyone to talk to… So I was bored.” I shrug.

“Bored enough to make out with Pete?”

I roll my eyes, “So you having a fuckbuddy is totally normal, but I make out with someone once and it’s a big deal?”

“Kind of, yeah, because you don’t do those things. You’re just not the type of guy that kisses, or fucks, anything with two legs. And I dunno, you and Pete are close so I just thought you might’ve made out with him because you like him.” he shrugs, “I’m honestly just curious.”

“Pete kissed me, okay? And then I was going to punch him, I honestly intended on punching him, but I dunno, I made out with him instead.” I shrug, “I might not be the type of guy to sleep with everyone possible, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to have to be madly in love with someone to do it. I was lonely, drunk, and despite pining over someone else, Pete was there.”

“Wait, pining over who?” he raises an eyebrow.

“Not telling, and not the point. I can make out with whoever I want. Or sleep with whoever I want, you don’t get a vote, or veto option because it’s not your business.” I get up and put on my shoes.

“Wait, Patrick I was just curious, don’t leave it’s too late and I’m still not good to drive.”

“I can walk.” I get up.

He hurries over and blocks the door, “You will not. It’s too late, and it’s too cold. You don’t want to be here...that sucks but, okay. I’ll ask Gerard if he can give you a ride. Finish your water, it’ll help.” He turns and walks out. I listen to him walk downstairs as I pull on my jacket. A few minutes and a glass of water later, he walks back upstairs.

“Gerard said he’d take you, but he’s going to warm up the car first.”

I nod and walk around him to take the glass downstairs. I put it in the sink before sitting on the couch. I hear Mikey sigh and walk back upstairs. I start nodding off after a few minutes, making me jump at a few taps on my shoulder. I look up and see Gerard. 

“The car should be warmed up.”

I nod and get up, turning to see Mikey leaning against the door frame.

“Can we talk for just, just a minute without you flying off the handle?” he crosses his arms.

Gerard looks between Mikey and I a couple times before shrugging and going outside.

I shrug a shoulder and look down, “Honestly, right now? Probably not.”

“Fine.” He walks over, stopping a few inches in front of me, “Fine, don’t talk to me. Fine, I won’t talk.” he tilts my chin upwards and leans closer, “But I bet I’m better at this than Pete.” He presses his lips against mine softly. I kiss back and clutch the front of his shirt in my fists, tightening my grip as our lips start slowly moving against each other. I can feel my heart beating in my throat as he bites my bottom lip, swiping his tongue over the bite quickly before pulling back. A few seconds go by before I let go of his shirt. 

“Wh-What was that?” I look up to him.

He shrugs, “Just, you’re lonely, I’m lonely… and you kissed me back without shoving me or trying to punch me, so if, to distract yourself from pining, I mean it just seems like I’d be a better option than Pete who you want to murder daily.”

I close my eyes and taking in a deep breath, saying only three words before walking outside, “You’re an idiot.”

I get into the car with Gerard and see Mikey waving from the doorway. I don’t wave back, instead I cross my arms and look down. Kissing him won’t distract me at all because he’s the person I need to be distracted from. And now I kind of want to bash my brain in. Gerard drops me off without saying much, obviously not trying to pry about whatever’s going on with Mikey and I. I unlock the door and go to my room, taking off my shoes before going to bed.


	3. Oblivious

For the next two days, I stay in my room as much as I possibly can. I avoid leaving the room while mom’s home, if I can help it. I’ve mostly only left the room while she was at work or asleep. She wants to talk about me being gay, and I’d rather peel off my skin cover myself in lemon juice. She’s also tried to ask about why I came home in the middle of the night, why I’m not hanging out with Mikey and Pete. The most she’s gotten out of me though, are eye-rolls and quick, short replies about how I don’t want to talk about it. I’d like to say that with all the time I’ve spent in my room I’ve done something productive like clean it up, or do my winter break homework, but I haven’t. It’d also be preferable to say that I’ve been letting myself think everything through, but I’m not doing that either. I’m sneaking into the cough syrup and sleeping. For the little amounts of time I wake up, I’ve made sure to shower, and eat. But I completely intend on doing this for the rest of the break. I know I won’t be able to, but I can hope. I haven’t been answering calls from Mikey or Pete either. I only answered one yesterday from Mikey, asking him if he could stop calling. I was as nice about it as I could be, I told him to give me a few days and I’ll call him. I don’t plan to, but I figured lying was nicer than the truth. 

I wake up with a jolt, a sudden, heavy weight on my chest. I let out a low grunt and look up to see the top half of Pete, to his waist, hanging into my room from my window. His chest is on my stomach, and his elbows are digging into my side.

“Morning.” His voice is muffled, due to his face being pressed against the mattress. 

“I should push you out.” my voice is thick with sleep as I try to pull him inside the window, “Stop squirming idiot.” 

He lifts up his head, “It feels like my pants are caught on something.”

I sigh, and push him back a little.

He wraps his arms around my middle, “What are you doing?” his voice is panicked.

“Unfortunately, not killing you. Let go and I’ll get you in.” He slowly lets go, so I push him back a little more, “Okay I need you to lift your hips some, or you’ll just get stuck again.” I carefully pull him back into the room, he pushes himself up a little with his hands. He falls onto the bed. I glance over at the clock and groan, it’s nine a.m.

“Now that you’re safely inside, leave through the door, please lock it on your way out.” I shove him onto the floor.

He falls with a thud and whines, “Oww.”

I close and lock the window beside my bed, “Really, leave.”

He gets up and sits on the bed, “Not until you explain why you’re becoming a hermit.”

“Or you can watch me sleep, whatever.” I turn towards the wall and pull the blanket up to my shoulder.

I feel him move the blanket, “I had a feeling you’d say that.” he says just before I feel his icy cold hand on my bare lower back. 

I jerk away from him, “What the fuck!?”

He shrugs, “Mikey won’t explain, but he’s pretty upset about something. You’re obviously upset about something too, so you idiots had some kind of fight. I can’t help if I don’t know what happened.”

“Well, you can’t help. Satisfied? Go home or I will put you in the hospital.” I snap.

He snorts, “Why do you think I came so early? You’re too tired to kill me, so tell me what’s wrong.”

I sigh, “Will you go away if I do?”

“There’s only one way to find out.” He kicks off his shoes and gets under my blanket with me.

I roll my eyes and tell him about what happened that night, before I had Gerard take me home. I reluctantly tell him about Mikey kissing me. He listens and doesn’t say anything until he can tell I’m done talking.

“So, please tell me you do realize why he kissed you.” He folds one of my pillows in half and lays his head back on it.

“He kinda told me? We’re both lonely.” I shrug.

He grins, “It’s adorable that you actually bought that.”

I raise an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“He was jealous.” Pete’s grin widens, “Think about it. First, we both walk out of a room and he’s suspicious instantly. Then he defensively tries to act like he doesn’t care if we are or aren’t together. _Then_ he mentions me before he kisses you, saying he ‘bets he’s better at it’ than me.”

I roll my eyes, “You’re an idiot too. He wasn’t jealous. In love with the guy or not, I’m able to see that he, as he himself put it, would sleep with anything with two legs.”

Pete smirks, “Oh, it’s _in love_ now, huh?”

I feel my cheeks redden, “Shut up, the point is...Just like you were there...I was just, there.”

Pete snorts, “I’ll try not to be hurt by that, but it was far from the same.”

I sigh, getting frustrated, “It was the same! He put _exactly_ the same offer on the table that you did!”

“While comparing himself to me, yet again.” Pete sits up and shakes his head, “Patrick, do you remember how he was when you and I first started hanging out?”

I sit up too, and raise an eyebrow.

“He didn’t like me. Before he got to know me, I got death glares from the deepest pit of hell from him.”

“He does that to everyone-”

“Everyone taking your attention from him.” Pete cuts me off, “He doesn’t do that to you. And once he and I became friends too, but he still gets irritable when you hang out with me and not him. He doesn’t mean to, and he probably can’t help it. And not everyone got the glares I got. From most people it’s just slight irritation. Joe never even dealt with the glares and cold tone in his voice, that I got. He was afraid I was going to steal you away from him. He was afraid that once you and I got to be good friends, the two of you would drift apart. He’s protective and possessive with you. He doesn’t go so far as to tell everyone to get away from you, he’s not like the scary kind of possessive. And the death glares from the deepest pit of hell? I hadn’t gotten one of those since like the second month we all started hanging out, until last night when we walked out of that room together after making out. That was why I decided to go to Joe’s. I figured you both be irritated at my existence wouldn’t make things any less tense between the two of you if I was there.”

I chew on my bottom lip, “I-I just don’t think he wants us to be more than friends.”

Pete sighs, “You haven’t seen him the last couple days. Dude for one, the death glare was put away and he’s been using this small voice… He asked me if we were dating, and he sounded so defeated. And yesterday after you told him not to call you, he called me and begged me to try and call. Which of course, you haven’t been answering me either so I figured the best way to help was to crawl through your window early enough for you to be asleep but late enough for your mom to be at work. So, here I am. And if you don’t at least, god you really need to just kiss him and get it over with, but if for some stupid reason you don’t want to, at least talk to him. You can go willingly or I can drag you to his house kicking and screaming but you’re going to talk to him.”

I fidget and nod, “Get out of my room so I can get dressed.”

 

Luckily Pete borrowed his mom’s car so we don’t have to freeze to death on the walk over. By the time he pulls into the driveway, I’m a nervous wreck. I’m fidgeting and trembling from nerves. He glances over to me, the car still running.

“Well, go in.”

“Y-You aren’t c-coming?” 

He shakes his head, “This is between you two, I’m glad to help in any way I can, but you two really need to talk, alone.”

I bite my lip and nod, getting out of the car. I slip a little over a patch of ice on the porch, but manage to keep myself from falling. I knock gently and quietly, afraid of him knowing I’m here. Pete notices, still being in the driveway, and honks his horn a couple times. I turn around and flip him off. When I turn back to face the door, Mikey already has it open. He moves out of the doorway to let me in. I step inside, shaking from the cold now, as well as nerves.

“You’ll warm up faster if you take off the jacket.” Mikey says quietly.

I bite my lip and nod, unzipping it and pulling it off, sighing in relief as the warm air from the heater reaches my skin. 

“I was just making some hot chocolate, if you want some.” he says softly.

I nod, “I’m, I-I’m freezing so that’d be great.”

He nods and leads me into the kitchen, grabbing two mugs from the cabinet. I watch him feeling lost. The speech I prepared in my head on the ride over is gone. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. So I grab the cocoa mix, and put two packets in each mug. He pours the steaming hot water from the coffee pot into them, getting a spoon to stir them with. We make our way to his bedroom, setting the hot chocolate on the nightstand since it’s too hot to drink right now. We sit on his bed facing each other. We’re both quiet for what feels like a long time.

“Are we okay?” he blurts out, unable to sit in awkward silence any longer.

I nod, “Yeah, we… we’re okay.” I look up at him, “Right now at least. But I have to tell you something and… I’m really not sure how you’ll feel about it.”

He scoots a little closer and nods.

“I need to apologize. For ignoring your calls, but mainly for snapping at you so much on Friday. I don’t take back calling you an idiot though, because you are.” I add playfully to lighten the mood a little, he smiles a bit before I continue, “I was just, I was so annoyed that you were with her. It wasn’t about hurting her feelings, I wish I was a decent enough person to care, but I didn’t care if her heart got broken. And then you said you’d tell her but you made out instead so you said you’d tell her later and then yeah, you did, but you also had major sex hair so you didn’t tell her before another make out, or more. And you just, you ditched me at that stupid party that I didn’t want to go to anyways, that you pushed me to go to. And I was drunk and I was hurt, and angry and Pete kissed me so I figured, why not make out with him? It’s not like you’d care… It’s not like...like you feel like I do when you’re the one making out or sleeping with someone. And then I just, I slept on the floor and pretended to be asleep because I was afraid I’d do something stupid like tell you how I feel. Then you just kiss me before I leave and make yourself an option for, for meaningless make outs and… and maybe more and I can’t do that. Because it’ll mean something to me. And even then, goddamn it, it’s not enough, okay? I want more than a physical relationship with you. I want to kiss you for no reason at all, hold your stupid hand, kiss your cheek, go see a movie and pay more attention to you than it, I just, I fucking...fuck.” I lean up and pull him into a kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He kisses back instantly, sliding his arms around my waist and pulling me almost into his lap. We kiss softly and slowly, holding onto each other so tightly, it’s as if we’re afraid the other will fall off of the planet if we let go. This kiss feels somewhere between our first and second kiss. It’s not as inexperienced as the first time, but not as physically demanding as the second. It’s somewhere in the middle, but it pulls more on our emotions than any physical desires. We slowly break the kiss, but keep each other held tight.

“If that um, wasn’t very clear...I um, I’ve kind of been in love with you for a while now and um...would you be my boyfriend?” Mikey blushes shyly.

I lean up and peck his lips, “I guess I could do that.”

He chuckles softly, “You guess?”

I grin and curl into him, “Depends on your cuddling skills.”

He wraps his arms around you, “In that case, I’m excellent at cuddling so no worries.”

I smile and nod, “I know...but you’re still an idiot.”


End file.
